Bits and pieces

"That dog is confusing; it's so big I'm not sure whether it should be leashed or saddled."

"Alright, now everyone raise your right hand and point slightly upwards and forwards with an open palm.... In nomine Patris, das führer et Spiritus sancti, Amen"

"I know that it sounds so simple; but it's so very curious in my mind. I can sit there upon my oaken seat and freely look upon the Morning Star battling the Archangel; but as to the lesser but closer angels which exist around me, I can only see them when I fall upon me knees. Just as the cause of Morning Star's fall upon the earth is not as important as what happened after the fall; the reason for me falling upon my knees is not as important as the fact that after the fall I may gaze upon"

"Here's the difference between a small town and a hick-town; in a small town when I go into the general store wearing a neck-tie they call me "sir" and are polite to me; in a hick town if I go in wearing a neck-tie they call me "sir", are polite to me and ask me about my job at the bank."

"I'm not a freaking padre...just ignore what it says on the sleeve...."