Words of the day....

- "Organic garden"? But that's what hippies eat!

- You're new to this whole 'reality' thing aren't you?

- My knife is sharp now that I've sharpened it.

- Shortly before their one year anniversary my left shoe's sole and upper began to have a bit of a squabble and are attempting a trial separation; I intend to bring them to the cobbler to see if they can reconcile their differences.

- Only servants stack dishes; I'm not stacking unless I get to wear a busboy uniform

- "This caused what Mr O'Leary described as indescribable pain."

Polkaa!

Nuapurista kuulu se polokan tahti
jalakani pohjii kutkutti.
Ievan äiti se tyttöösä vahti
vaan kyllähän Ieva sen jutkutti,
sillä ei meitä silloin kiellot haittaa
kun myö tanssimme laiasta laitaan.
Salivili hipput tupput täppyt
äppyt tipput hilijalleen.

Ievan suu oli vehnäsellä
ko immeiset onnee toevotti.
Peä oli märkänä jokaisellaja viulu se vinku ja voevotti.
Ei tätä poikoo märkyys haittaa
sillon ko laskoo laiasta laitaan.
Salivili hipput.

Ievan äiti se kammarissa
virsiä veisata huijjuutti,
kun tämä poika naapurissa
ämmän tyttöä nuijjuutti.
Eikä tätä poikoo ämmät haittaa
sillon ko laskoo laiasta laitaan.
Salivili.

Siellä oli lystiä soiton jäläkeen
sain minä kerran sytkyyttee.
Kottiin ko mäntii ni ämmä se riitelj
ja Ieva jo alako nyyhkyytteek.
Minä sanon Ievalle mitäpä se haittaa
laskemma vielähi laiasta laitaa.
Salivili.

Muorille sanon jotta tukkee suusi
en ruppee sun terveyttäs takkoomaa.
Terveenä peäset ku korjoot luusi
ja määt siitä murjuus makkoomaa.
Ei tätä poikoo hellyys haittaa
ko akkoja huhkii laiasta laitaan.
Salivili.

Sen minä sanon jotta purra pittää
ei mua niin voan nielasta.
Suat männä ite vaikka lännestä ittään
vaan minä en luovu Ievasta,
sillä ei tätä poikoo kainous haittaa
sillon ko tanssii laiasta laitaan.
Salivili.

Calvin and Hobbes

C - Hobbes, where do you think we go when we die?
H - I think we play saxaphone for an all girl cabaret in New Orleans
C - So you believe in Heaven?
H - Call it what you will.


C - I don't understand this business about death, if we're just going to die what's the point of living?
H - Well there's seafood.
C- I don't know why I even talk with you before dinner...


H - What fun is being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?


H - I bet your natural charm has made you a good sprinter


C - My watch tells me the time, the day and the date. It doesn't tell me what month it is though. I need a watch that tells me the month.
H - I guess they figured if you don't know what month it is, you're not the type who'd wear a watch.


C - Nobody ever pays me a penny for my thoughts...


C - People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.


C - I've been thinking Hobbes...
H - On a weekend?
C - Well it wasn't on purpose.


C - Careful, we don't want to learn from this


C - Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.


C - Don't walk away! I'm trying to apologize you dumb noodleloaf!

H - Do you think there is a God?
C - Well, somebody's out to get me.


C - Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but it's hard to imagine what.


C - Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.


C - Reality continues to ruin my life.


C - I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.


C - I have plentyof common sense! I just choose to ignore it.


C - I think most of us would be horrified to meet ourselves and discover what everyone else already knows about us.

Song

It's been a while since I heard this song; I like it.


Sisters of Mercy - Leonard Cohen

Oh the sisters of mercy, they are not departed or gone.
They were waiting for me when I thought that I just can't go on.
And they brought me their comfort and later they brought me this song.
Oh I hope you run into them, you who've been travelling so long.

Yes you who must leave everything that you cannot control.
It begins with your family, but soon it comes around to your soul.
Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned:
When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned.

Well they lay down beside me, I made my confession to them.
They touched both my eyes and I touched the dew on their hem.
If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn
they will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem.

When I left they were sleeping, I hope you run into them soon.
Don't turn on the lights, you can read their address by the moon.
And you won't make me jealous if I hear that they sweetened your night:
We weren't lovers like that and besides it would still be all right,
We weren't lovers like that and besides it would still be all right.

So what if I'm suggesting that you open the Pandora's Link?

I stumbled across this website a little while ago and thought it was worth mentioning. This is a website where you type in a song/artist that you like and then they'll create an online radio station of music along those lines. It's got a pretty good knowledge base, it respectably handled "Top 40" songs as well as Leonard Cohen, Dean martin and other music I know. It's not perfect and didn't know some of the more obscure music in my collection like "Avrigus" and was absolutely lost on classical music, but I was still surprised that it did as well as it did. It's worth playing around with to find new music and just to have some background music for your life.


Cheers

I dislike my prof

One of my profs today told me that we *must* use "inclusive language" for everything we submit, including in references to God. So in honour of her decree to us, I give you the new politically correct Lord's prayer (this'll probably be funny only to a few theology students).



Our parental diety*, who art in heaven
hallowed be thy name,
thy monarachial territory** come,
thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven

give us this day our daily food***
and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
for thine is the monarchial territory****,
the power and the glory,
forever and ever,
a-person*****

*No "father", it might be a she!
**Sorry, Kingdoms are a paternal institution
*** Can't talk about bread, we have to remember the Celiacs
**** There's that dang patriarchy again!
***** "Amen's" got that "men" word in it, that'll never do!




Cheers,

Some mildly amusing poems by dead people

The Moron - Anonymous
See the happy moron
He doesn't give a damn!
I wish I were a moron -
My God! Perhaps I am!



Judged by the Company One Keeps
One night in late October
When I was far from sober
Returning with my load with manly pride,
my feet began to stutter
So I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came near and lay down by my side;
A lady passing by was heard to say:
"You can tell a man who boozes,
By the company he chooses,"
And the pig got up and slowly walked away.



An exerpt from Mrs Mary Blaize by Oliver Goldsmith
...She strove the neighbourhood to please,
with manners wond'rous winning,
And never followed wicked ways, -
Unless when she was sinning



The last poem itself isn't so good but the title leads the imagination down some odd paths "The Passionate Shepherd to his Love"





Cheers,

Church Bell at Night
[12th c; trans. by howard Mumford Jones in Romanesque Lyric]

Sweet little bell, struck on a windy night,
I would liefer keep tryst with thee than be
with a light and foolish woman.






Cheers,

Reiko

In order to ensure that this blog in no way becomes the slightest bit touchy-feely I am obliged to occasionally put something dark and disturbing on here.


Long story short: I found myself poking around a website about a comic girl called Reiko a little while ago http://www.taintedink.com. According to the author,"

"Reiko is a perfectly normal red-eyed, pointy-eared, sadistic little demon girl.

This comic is sick, twisted, gory, and quite funny; 'viewer discretion is advised' though, a lot of the site is probably just disturbing and disgusting to most people.



Cheers,