This seemed funny at 2 in the morning...

Whoa, this wood is all crazy and psychadelic...I think the trees have been taking hits of acid rain when they grew these bits.


"See that girl sitting up ahead on the right and the girl two seats ahead of her? They're both strippers"
"How did you know that?"
"They were working at the same stripclub I went to last night where I punched out that other stripper."
"...I meet the most peculiar girls some days..."


I still don't see the problem with choosing what's for dinner based on where the pretty girls are working at the market that particular day.

Mmmm.....sweet, delicious ink....

Instructions on a bottle of ink "Don,t Drink"


Girl: Yeah, but how would I ever get to dress up pretty on a regular basis?
Guy: Simple - you follow me for a while


It was a fun night, I mean right up to the point where he got corporeally possessed by demons things were really going well.


Florist: So a spring-bouquet today?
Guy: Actually I was looking for an I'm-terribly-sorry-to-my-dear-female-friend-for-not-being-there-last-night-bouqet
Florist: *sigh* it's fools like you that keep me in business


Bartender: Another pint of Guiness
Patron: No I'm sorry, I've got to wuss out for a bit - just give me a pint of ale instead.


Sometimes I think life would be easier if less of the documents I write needed a cover page informing the reader that the contents are to be kept secret and that I will be denying the existance of that document.